While facilitating Phase III one day and working on a resume for a guy, I was asked why I am so passionate about Christ being the answer for my addictive behavior. I would offer that is the answer period. Because He is. Not just for any particular type of behavior or lack of it, rather anything and everything. When your focus goes off me and onto Him – not just something else – true healing and growth can really begin, I told him. I don’t remember how the subject came up, but I am getting better at taking opportunities to mention my faith.

It took several years for me to genuinely believe that I was truly forgiven,  that Jesus died for me and took my sins to the cross, even if I did nothing but believe in Him. Now don’t get me wrong, I still have moments of shame, guilt and doubt. The joy I now feel, though, because of His guidance and love is what I would want for ALL people, addicted or not. Because He works even on desperate sinners like me is why I need to get the word out about my transformation and what Christ can do for everyone. After all, I am in good company because the twelve apostles, those closest to Jesus, went through the same transformation as I have gone through.

Now let’s also be clear, nothing about my being born again is easy. Any child birth, even with an easy labor – if there is such a thing – is difficult. A new life emerging, all that pain and discomfort, proves worth it when you behold the new life created. Similarly I feel, God looks at a born again Christian the same way. Christ said he would leave the 99 to search for the one lost sheep and rejoice when he comes back to the fold. (Luke 15 v4) I can now behold more fully God’s handiwork first hand in me and other believers. “For you formed my inward parts, you covered me in my mother’s womb.” (Ps. 139 v 13) He knew what lie ahead for me and needed to let me experience it so I could grow into the new life.

Because of your rebirth, you may lose friends as I have. “Jailhouse religion” is the common term for many who come to Christ inside corrections, then leave it at the door upon leaving. Time will tell if this rebirth lasts outside corrections. Many may believe you are only playing a role and do not believe or trust it. They may not even like the new you. It is too much for them to grasp that you are no longer addicted to the same things as before or as they still are, or that you act and think differently now. Putting Christ first will do that, change your total perspective on everything, just as He meant it to be. This transformation is needed to move you out of your cocoon and become the beautiful new creation God intended you to be. If that caterpillar could talk, I bet he would say he‘d rather go to sleep and simply awaken as a beautiful butterfly than having to go through all the tedious work of spinning a cocoon around itself after finding the perfect spot, then waiting many weeks later to transform into that new creature.

It is, however, the journey of a life time, one so worth the cost. I feel it is also important not to forget the pain along the way, where you have come from and what you have gone through lest you slip back and forget the price you have paid, which is so easy to do, and neglect the eternity you have gained. I know it is difficult to contemplate doing all this for the next life, especially if you do not believe in a Heaven or Hell. But Jesus reminds me in my guide book, the Bible, that if I keep silent “even the stones will cry out.” (Luke 19 v40) Worldly things begin not to matter as much and following Christ does. Romans 12 v2 tell us “be not of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”. So giving up a few things will be necessary, as is following your own desires as it was for me. Again, Proverbs 3 v5-6 is still my mantra.

Besides, we know where our addictive behavior, sooner or later, will get us. Been there done that. Yes, I thought I could get away with it, live a double life and did for longer than I care to admit. Oh, you like it the way it is you say? Well, how’s that really working for you, your family and friends? Selfish me said I don’t care, I matter most, I deserve, I want, I need, blah, blah, blah. God said in Psalm 52 v “cast your burden on the Lord and He will sustain you in times of trouble,” which He sure has for me here inside corrections, although I didn’t believe Him prior to my being reborn.

Now I didn’t say all this to the inmate who queried me, but I did give him the main points. He seemed to understand, at least how it applied to me and gave him some pause I believe. Since he is on his way home, I hope it might help him and give him something to think about. All I can do is plant the seed and know God will water it. (1 Cor. 3 v6)

It also reminds me how blessed I am for being where I am emotionally and spiritually. Thank you Jesus! It isn’t always easy as the last year has proven, but is a great deal better than the life I was leading the last several years.